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Tristesa líquida. Relato de Elena Marí. PDF Imprimir E-mail

La tristesa pot ser un sentiment líquid, que s’escapa entre els dits quan el vols agafar, però alhora els mulla tots completament. Per desgràcia, triga massa a assecar-se, perquè quan és líquida es prolonga dies i dies i tenyeix d'un imperceptible color d’humitat totes les hores.

Mentrestant, una no adverteix la seva presència i no és al cap d’un llarg temps, si és que una se’n pot sortir del bassal de tristor, que adverteix la seva floridura: els dies passats sense que cap il·lusió arribi a il·luminar el somriure; la deixadesa a l'hora de portar a terme alguna cosa quotidiana com rentar-se les dents, sense esma per posar cura entre els racons dels queixals, sense el desig d’escollir una pasta que faci bon gust; la manca d’interès que anul·la la capacitat de sorprendre's, perquè les novetats han deixat de formar part del terreny d’allò perceptible, simplement la manca d’empenta per travessar per noves situacions les converteix en invisibles.

La tristesa es torna líquida quan una ha oblidat el fet o la conjunció de situacions que la van fer aparèixer. Arriba a tenir una humitat vaporosa a mesura que la manca d’esperança anul·la qualsevol iniciativa per a desprendre-se’n. No té color, però sí la propietat de treure la brillantor de cada moment, fent-la desaparèixer en una sopa esmorteïda d’instants cada cop més insípids, perquè una, aliena de tot com està, no és capaç de treure-li suc a l’ara.

La tristesa aigualida emboira la ment, com els núvols tapen el sol els dies d’un cel gris blanquinós que ni tant sols amenaça pluja. Fixa un vel a la mirada i no deixa que s’entusiasmi, ni que vibri, dirigint les pupil·les cap allò que una desitja. Amb el cerumen que aquesta tristor va depositant en les orelles, la veu de la pròpia ment enterbolida es percep més alta que els estímuls del voltant. El cos sencer poc els respon, immers en la inèrcia dels moviments cadenciosos, o més aviat decadents.

La tristesa líquida navega per un cos a la deriva, exempt de patrona que dirigeixi, només mogut per l’hàbit. Per això una no transita mai per camins nous. Per això no té de què penedir-se, ni cap celebració per haver arribat a una fita. Per això té poc per compartir, perquè la pròpia absència no és bona companya.

Però aquesta tristesa aigualida no arriba mai a sortir d’una en forma de llàgrimes. No té aquest poder d’aflorar per a sentir-la com a pròpia. No és mai un sentiment generós a l’hora de suggerir indicis de la seva existència a qui el transporta per la vida. La seva aigua trista es queda dins d'una, rovellant les articulacions, restant l’agilitat que dóna gràcia als moviments. Sempre imperceptible per a qui la porta. I una no li pot fer front al que no pot reconèixer.

 

Elena Marí. Periodista i guionista d'Eivissa.

 

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        ON s.id = a.sectionid
        WHERE a.state = 1
        AND ( a.publish_up = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_up <= '2020-05-31 06:18:33' )
        AND ( a.publish_down = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_down >= '2020-05-31 06:18:33' )
        AND s.id > 0
        AND a.access <= 0
        AND cc.access <= 0
        AND s.access <= 0
        AND s.published = 1
        AND cc.published = 1
        ORDER BY a.created DESC
        LIMIT 0, 15
    17. SELECT joomlatablename,tablepkID
        FROM `jos_jf_tableinfo`
    18. SELECT jf_content.reference_field, jf_content.VALUE, jf_content.reference_id, jf_content.original_value

        FROM jos_jf_content AS jf_content

        WHERE jf_content.language_id=2
             
        AND jf_content.published=1
         
        AND jf_content.reference_id IN(262,261,258,257,256,255,254,253,252,250,249,248,247,246,244)
         
        AND jf_content.reference_table='content'
    19. SELECT a.id, a.introtext , a.images, a.attribs, a.title, a.state, a.access
       
        FROM jos_content AS a
       
        INNER JOIN jos_categories AS cc
        ON cc.id = a.catid
       
        INNER JOIN jos_sections AS s
        ON s.id = a.sectionid
       
        WHERE a.state = 1
       
        AND a.access <= 0
        AND cc.access <= 0
        AND s.access <= 0
       
        AND (a.publish_up = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_up <= NOW() )
       
        AND (a.publish_down = '0000-00-00 00:00:00' OR a.publish_down >= NOW() )
       
        AND a.catid = 49
       
        AND cc.published = 1
       
        AND s.published = 1
       
        ORDER BY a.ordering
        LIMIT 1
    20. SELECT joomlatablename,tablepkID
        FROM `jos_jf_tableinfo`
    21. SELECT jf_content.reference_field, jf_content.VALUE, jf_content.reference_id, jf_content.original_value

        FROM jos_jf_content AS jf_content

        WHERE jf_content.language_id=2
             
        AND jf_content.published=1
         
        AND jf_content.reference_id IN(222)
         
        AND jf_content.reference_table='content'
    22. SELECT guest, usertype, client_id
        FROM jos_session
        WHERE client_id = 0
    23. SELECT *
        FROM jos_banner
        WHERE showBanner = 1
        AND (imptotal = 0 OR impmade < imptotal)
        AND cid = 4
        AND catid = 53
        ORDER BY sticky DESC, ordering
        LIMIT 0, 4
    24. UPDATE jos_banner
        SET impmade = impmade + 1
        WHERE bid = 11

    0 legacy queries identificadas

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